Goddamn it, it took you guys less than a week to fall off the wagon about next year. We said we wouldn't do this.
How quickly you forget the benefits of having the biggest, strongest, scariest guys in every game. Next year's team is going to be soft and white as fuck. Get ready to return to a team of slow, skinny, finesse pussies who want no part of anything other than floating around daintily and hoisting up their gay little shots. K will stick to his same, godawful defense, and every game will consist of opponents:
- Spreading and absolutely fucking roasting our hopeless, out-of-their-element pansies who look like they should be on the golf team, then laughing and hanging from the rim with their nuts repeatedly smashing our players' stupid, frightened faces while they fumble around trying to pick up the ball through their sobs of shame
- Playing volleyball with every missed shot while all five of our frail waifs stand off to the side (waiting for the scary stuff to end so they can dribble down and jack up yet another contested 30-footer), then screaming and flexing after the follow dunk as our little fairies blush and look away in fear
- Preventing Duke from even thinking about trying to score at the rim, or really even dribbling inside the 3PT line. The entire offense will be swinging the ball around the perimeter until someone gets bored and launches a bad shot where they're really just trying to not get stuffed and embarrassed more than they're trying to actually score.
Have fun watching an 11-14 Miami team run the clock out up 20, pointing and laughing as Baker, AOC, White, and Hurt simultaneously have panic attacks and piss their pants while dropping their 5th ACC game in a row next February, then coming here to post "I'm SERIOUSLY fucking done with K and this soft-ass team!!1" while the whole world jerks off to their tears. It's going to be godawful, and don't let your masochistic brains convince you otherwise.
